So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
