how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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