We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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