Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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