my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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