Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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