i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
