Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
