He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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