You made me cry and you don't even care
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wanna go halves on a baby?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
