I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
