Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
