I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
