He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
