I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
