i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
