In America we eat man semen.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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