U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Text me some of your sweat
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