Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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