What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
