She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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