Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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