were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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