she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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