i jhust puked up my retainher.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
