He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
