I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
