She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
