I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
