I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
