stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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