yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I intend to get homeless drunk
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
