okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
