Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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