I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
