CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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