Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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