At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
