just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
