toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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