i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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