Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
