I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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