??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
