if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
