Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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