Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
high people should be assigned attendants
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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