plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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