i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
