Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
