Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My Sexting was not on an AP level
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
